What Kids Want to Know

by Rabbi Rami Shapiro

To these perennial questions, I offer some answers — not to close a conversation but to broaden one. I do not claim to know anything you don’t know, but if I can help you remember what you already do know, I am blessed. Most questions sent to me come from adults, but I do get mail from younger people. Here are some of their questions:

What is religion, and how do I know which one is right for me?
Think of a 10,000-piece jigsaw puzzle. Each piece is unique — no two pieces are the same — yet unless each piece joins with all the others, it has no meaning or purpose. Life is like this puzzle, and you are one piece within it. Religion’s task is to help you take your place, to help you recognize and live out your connection with and responsibility toward all life. A religion is right for you when it helps you find and take your place in the puzzle. A religion is wrong for you if it forces you into a shape that isn’t you at all. If your religion celebrates who you are even as it helps you become more than you are, it is probably a good fit.

Do you believe in God?
We believe in things we don’t know. I don’t believe in my parents; I know them. I don’t believe in God; I know God. I know God when I become quiet and still and look at the world around and within me. Then I see that everything is connected to everything else, and that all life is part of something even greater. This something greater I call God.

Does God have a plan for my life?
Yes. God grew you the way a tree grows a branch. Just as trees grow branches to gain more sunlight, so God grows you to gain more insight. You are the way that God gets to know life from your unique perspective. God’s plan is for you to be the one person no one else can be — you. But don’t think there’s a map to follow. How could there be? No one has been you before. Yet there is a compass: love. Move toward love, and you can’t get lost.

Is the Bible the word of God?
When the Bible teaches compassion and justice, it is the word of God. When it teaches violence and hate, it is not. This is true of all holy books. If you don’t want done to you what the Bible says should be done to others, you can be pretty sure that what is being said has nothing to do with God.

What religion is God?
What flavor is ice cream? Ice cream comes in dozens of flavors — chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, coffee, etc. — but has no flavor of its own. God comes in lots of flavors — Hindu, Jewish, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, African, Native American, Pagan, etc. — but God has no flavor of its own. To say that God is one religion or another is as silly as saying strawberry is real ice cream, and chocolate and coffee are fake. Different people prefer different flavors. This is true of both ice cream and religion. Find the flavor you like the best; just don’t imagine that your favorite flavor is the right flavor, or that any flavor is God.

Why is there evil?
Life is all about opposites. Just as you can’t have fronts without backs, or hills without valleys, so you can’t have good without evil. When you act in a way that promotes freedom, kindness, fairness, creativity, and humility, you are doing good. When you act in a way that promotes oppression, cruelty, injustice, conformity, and selfishness, you are doing evil. Allowing for both is what life is all about. Making the right choice between them is what you are all about.

Why should I pray, and what should I pray for?
I pray to help open my mind to wisdom and my heart to compassion. The only thing I pray for is the ability to embrace life with courage, kindness, justice, creativity, and love. This works for me; you will have to decide for yourself.

What happens when I die?
Place an ice cube in a tub of warm water. Where does the cube go when it melts? You are the cube; God is the water. For a while you seem separate from the water, but eventually you melt — you die — and discover that you, too, are water. Have fun being a cube; just don’t forget that all cubes are water, and everything is God.

What are heaven and hell?
Some people say heaven and hell are places you go when you die. I say they are places you live here and now. When you forget you are one with God and all life, you live in fear. This is hell. When you remember you are one with God and all life, you live in wonder. This is heaven. When you live in hell, you are angry, jealous, and sometimes violent. When you live in heaven, you are kind, just, and sometimes heroic. Don’t worry about what happens after you die, worry about how you live before you die.

Which is true: science or religion?
Which is true: basketball or soccer? In basketball you dribble the ball, but you can’t kick it. In soccer you kick it, but you can’t dribble. Each is a way of moving a ball from one end of a rectangle to another. If you play soccer, you have to play by soccer’s rules. If you play basketball, you have to play basketball’s rules. The same is true of science and religion. They are two games people play to understand life. Each has rules, and both are true, according to those rules. Learn to play both games: the more you play, the more fascinating and meaningful life becomes.

Is Jesus God?
Yes. And so are you. Jesus knew he was God and acted godly; that is, fearlessly and with love. When you do the same, you too will know “I and the Father are one.”
aren’t I better believing in God than not — just in case He does send nonbelievers
to hell? 
You are restating what is called “Pascal’s Wager.” Pascal, a seventeenth-century French philosopher, said that believing in God is a safer bet than not believing in God because if there is no God, believing in God costs you nothing, while if there is a God, not believing in God may cost you eternal damnation.
I have three problems with this wager. First, you can’t make yourself believe something you really don’t believe. Second, if God does exist, wouldn’t God know you are faking belief? And third, what kind of God would God be if God would rather you lie about your beliefs than be honest about them?
I think any God worth believing in would prefer honest disbelief to fake belief. God is not troubled by honesty and thoughtful doubt. God is troubled by dishonesty and too-easy belief.

Is there one thing all religions agree on?
Yes, it’s called the “Golden Rule.” Here are some examples: Christianity: “Do to others as you would have them do unto you”; Judaism: “That which is hateful to you do not do to others”; Islam: “None of you [truly] believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself”; Buddhism: “Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful”; Hinduism: “Do not do to others what would cause pain if done to you”; and Native American tradition: “All things are our relatives; what we do to everything, we do to ourselves. All is really One.”
Different religions hold different beliefs, but they all agree that treating one another honorably is central to living the good life. Believe what you will; do what is right.
 
Rami Shapiro’s most recent book is The Sacred Art of Lovingkindness. Email your questions to him at rabbirami@SpiritualityHealth.com.